Dismayed, Yet ...

  I have noticed the last couple of weeks, (taking my pain med three times a day) before it is time to take my second dose, my knee is hurting badly.  In fact, yesterday I had to take an extra pain med to keep my pain controlled.
  Today, I did some laundry -- my washer and dryer are downstairs.  I tried to stay downstairs as much as possible, but now at 10:45pm my pain is at least 4/5.  I also don't have a comfy chair downstairs -- so the swelling in my knees is about 3/5; and I am sure not being able to get my knees up is also adding to the pain.  WOW - I can't even do my housework. I am sad.
  But is my reading in the Bible going to be to no avail?  Reading in Deuteronomy Chapter 31, verses 5-8 I feel some strength.  Even though Moses is talking to his people about claiming the land of their inheritance, he says these words; and I believe they can apply to any of us who are fearful. "...and you must do what I have commanded you.  Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, (them means to me my trials) for the Lord your God goes (is) with you; he will never leave you or forsake you".

Do Not be Dismayed

  I have joined the challenge to read the bible in 90 days. After reading the first sixteen chapters, I found this challenge was very much related to my blog.  The portion of scripture that stayed with me was Genesis 4:6. "Then the Lord said to Cain.  Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."
  Here the Lord was talking to Cain, the first recorded murderer in the Old Testament and this scripture rang true in my mind! Why?  I believe the Lord was telling me, I am depressed to much these days, and I don't have pleasant countenance much of the time.
  I decided I can stop feeling sorry for myself. And have faith in the Lord, that things that happen, regarding my disability will work according to the Lord's will -- but that I have still have to still "Stand up  and Live"! My prayer will be that I can be happy with a pleasant countenance, so that depression doesn't overtake my faith.

Reflection on My Blog

   After contemplating my blog and its' theme -- I do not want to make it negative. Because as I think of the last two years, I have shared some very special and spiritual times with my family and friends. And most of these times would have been unavailable to me if I had been working.  Although, I struggled with discouragement in 2010 because my operative knee was now more painful than before surgery and my good knee was becoming painful because of overuse -- I also had an invaluable experience.  The following is this experience. 

  I ran out of my medications and I ordered them.  I then forgot about them. It was the third day that I had not slept or eaten when Mary and Jonathan brought their little kiddies for me to look after while they went to the temple. I was able to do it but Mary could tell I was very sick.  We sat down and went over my meds together, and I finally remembered the med I had forgotten to pick up.

  Mary went and picked up the medication, and she and her family left for home. I took my medication and I ate some cooked oatmeal. Then my need for sleep, after three days, had caughten up with me. BUT, as I sat in my comfy chair the following impression came into my mind as I drifted off to sleep -- "You now have the right to lie down and die, or stand up and live".  My decision was made without hesitation: "I would stand up and live"!  I then slept deeply for several hours into the next day. 

Upcoming Surgery

  I was told in December 2007 - the waiting list for surgery would be a year. And a year it was. In December 2008, I received the call for surgery -- it would be before Christmas,  but I would be home before Christmas. One of our staff had just resigned, and we were finding it very hard to have RN staff for Christmas. They knew I would be out of the mix because of my surgery. I felt sad that I couldn't help out, but I had waited a year for my date for surgery.

  After thinking about it with extreme mixed feelings, I called those who booked the surgery. I explained my situation and they gave me a date for the 9th of January 2009. I was glad I changed the date, after all what is Christmas all about? And also, I wasn't as disabled for Christmas. The next year would be difficult, but I learned patience (at least for that year).  Many hours were spent in my comfy chair with my grandchildren and my pet cats. I also crocheted many receiving blankets for my growing family of grandchildren. Dr. Low told me I had to give my knee a year to heal.